


should've stayed, were there signs I ignored? (can I help you not to hurt anymore?)

by multifandomdumbass



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Car Accident, Character Death, F/F, Love Confessions, Suicide, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, dont read if you don’t like tragic fics, i needed to let out frustrations, im sorry, spoilers in tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25176355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomdumbass/pseuds/multifandomdumbass
Summary: ”I should’ve talked to you more. I should’ve paid attention to the little things. I should’ve loved you better than I did. Maybe then you would still be here.”
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	should've stayed, were there signs I ignored? (can I help you not to hurt anymore?)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from One More Light- Linkin Park
> 
> SPOILER ALERT POSSIBLE  
> TW: Suicide  
> TW: Car crash
> 
> first oneshot, hope you enjoy :)

Beca’s beaten up car pulled to a whining stop on the gravel road. The fragments crunched under the weight of her tires, a loud sound in the still cemetery. She took in a deep, steadying breath and slowly got out of the car. She didn’t move for several minutes. Of course, she knew exactly where to go, but this was the first time she had seen her grave since she died. The old, dead grass crunched under her feet as she slowly walked up to the seemingly untouched headstone. She crouched down and ran her fingers along the smooth grooves in the stone.

”Hey Chlo” Beca started. “I brought some flowers for you. I also have the yellow cup with me. You know this is the first time I’ve been up here since... it happened. Don’t think that I love you any less because I couldn’t come up here. No, I just physically couldn’t. Couldn’t get out of bed. Couldn’t move. I was broken. It’s not your fault though. It’s mine.”

”I should’ve talked to you more. I should’ve paid attention to the little things. I should’ve loved you better than I did. Maybe then you would still be here. Maybe I should’ve done a better job to care for you. I could’ve stopped this. I never should’ve left you that day. I should’ve stayed home. Maybe we could watch a movie. Twilight marathon? I know how much you loved that movie. Maybe Harry Potter. I don’t know, it would’ve been your choice. I would’ve fallen asleep after about an hour anyways. No biggie.”

”Anyways, back on track. I just came to tell you how much I love and miss you. You know I never thought the afterlife was real. I thought we just died and that’s that. But if it gives me something to hold onto, I’m gonna believe today. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Chloe. I still remember the first day.”

 _-_ 2012-

_”Hi, any interest in joining our a capella group?” The redhead smiled and handed Beca a flyer._

_”Oh right, this is like a thing now” Beca stated, warily watching the girl across from her._

-Present Day-

Beca chuckled, a short, dry laugh. “I kinda regret acting like that, but 18 year old me was a bit of a bitch. Of course, you knew that, but you still put up with me. Of course you did. You’re Chloe. Chloe _Beale._ You’ll always be Beale to me. You put up with my shit when no one else did. I never realized how great you were to me until you left. I still remember every time we went out for ice cream at 2 am. I still remember the innocent touches in Bellas rehearsal. I remember it all. How could I forget?”

-2013-

_”Beca, please?” Chloe drew out the ‘e’ and pouted._

_”Alright, alright, fine. I’ll take you to go get ice cream.” Beca relented and Chloe wrapped her in a bear hug._

_..._

_“What kind do you want, Chlo?” Chloe stared at the case for a solid 3 minutes before finally shouting “Cookie dough!” Beca laughed and bought it for her._

_”Gimme bite” Chloe demanded after they sat down._

_”Why’d you make me buy Cookie Dough if you wanted my Cherry Blitz?” Beca mock glared as she gave her a bite._

_”Tastes better from yours”_

-Present Day-

”God Chlo, you never ate it all but ended up eating half of mine.” Beca laughed, a loud, boisterous sound. “You always took mine, even if you hated the flavor, you took it.”

”I think what I loved most about you is that you had such a big heart. You could absolutely hate someone, but give them a second chance because you thought they deserved it. I guess I’m kinda lucky there, ain’t I. You took so many chances on me, and I never took a chance on you. I did not once ask if you were truly doing okay. Feeling okay. I didn’t. I never checked up on you, and I should have. I should’ve given you the world, and I would’ve, but I never did. I thought you were happy Chlo-“ Her voice cracked and she paused for a few minutes.

”I thought you were happy all the time. You were like a ball of sunshine. You pretended you were. For me, you pretended. I should’ve made it clear you didn’t have to.” She looked up at the setting sun and let a tear run down her cheek.

”Guess it’s getting pretty late, huh. Well now for the real reason I’m here, how about it.” Beca took a deep breath.

”I guess I never told you this because I was afraid it’d change everything, but now it’s too late, and I have to say it now. I was- am- in love with you, Chloe. Not as friends. As more. I always have been. Always will be. I should’ve told you before. I never did though, and I will always carry that with me. Chloe you were it for me. You were my person. My one and only. I will never stop loving you, and I will always be there for you, no matter what. I had the chance to save you from drowning, and I didn’t. I let you sink. I never had the chance to give you my air. So if this is the last you ever hear from me, know I love you so much. With every fiber of my being, I love you. I think I’ll play our song one more time”

Beca began to sing, tapping rhythms with the famous yellow cup effortlessly. She eased through every verse, never missing a beat. On the last word, she dropped the cup and sobbed, a loud, crushing noise in the silent area.

Beca once again ran her fingers over the smooth stone divots, tracing the name of her love. She stood up, waved at the stone, brushed the dirt off her jeans, and started the trek back to her car. 

When she got there, she noticed her window was cracked open just an inch and a small ladybug flew onto her steering wheel. Beca smiled and sobbed at the same time.

“I see you, Chloe. I see you” She spoke to the ladybug. She carefully put the ladybug on her finger and let her fly away. Eventually, she composed herself enough to drive and got into her car. While starting the car, she noticed a small CD case in her passenger seat that she had gotten from Chloe the day she passed. A suicide note, of sorts.

She began to pull out of the cemetery and onto the busy road as she put the CD in and pressed play. She heard a whirring noise, and a distinct sob before choked words came out of her speaker.

_”I love you too, Beca.”_

Beca was too distracted by the scratchy voice that came from the radio to notice the other car come flying down the wrong lane, it's tires screeching as the driver tried to stop.

She didn't feel the impact.

She didn’t notice the glass shards fly from her windshield and into her neck, slicing the delicate skin that rests there.

She didn’t notice the hard plastic pin the lower half of her body, the strong bones crushed effortlessly under the car’s weight.

She never heard the scream of the other driver as they jumped out at the last minute.

Never felt the searing pain.

She didn’t notice any of it.

The only thing going through her head were the words that had swept through her car merely seconds before.

_“I love you too, Beca”_

Beca’s eyes fluttered shut seconds before she took her last gasping breath.

_I’m coming home Chlo._

_I’m coming home._

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr [here](https://ear-monstrosities.tumblr.com/)
> 
> sorry about that :(


End file.
